Walking home from our local grocer's earlier today, I came across an old couple, possibly in their late 60's to early 70's, who were strolling along the sidewalk, hand in hand. I couldn't help but smile, and was sorely tempted to take a picture, except a) I didn't want them to think I was a weird camera-totting Asian tourist who walks around taking pictures of everything, and b) I didn't want them to think I was weird.
So instead, I smiled, said a polite hello, while the gentlemen still holding his partner's hand and swinging it back and forth, smiled, and used his free hand to tip his black beret at me as we passed. This reminded me of the time I went up to the observation deck in the John Hancock building in Chicago, late one snowy winter's night, and chanced upon another old couple, dancing arm in arm by the window, to a Sinatra song that was playing over the speaker. Like this afternoon, my heart melted, and sent a signal to my brain - I want that.
People always think romance is about grand gestures. Elaborate, over-the-top actions, like hiring a plane to write 'I love you' in the sky, proposing on one knee in the middle of a fancy restaurant, taking her out for a big night on the town, or decorating your entire house with roses and candles as a surprise. And perhaps, for some, that is what it takes. I, however, have always been more fond of the little, everyday gestures. Like my husband driving me from store to store, to look for the exact bottle of Malaysian chilli sauce I have been craving for. Or renting a girly movie just because he knows I'll enjoy it. Or never failing to give me a kiss each morning before he gets out of bed. Or getting rid of all the bugs that came in at night before he goes to work, just so I'll wake up to a bug-free home.
Because the thing is this. Romance, whether it's the little everyday gestures, or the huge, extravagant ones, takes effort. And they require effort, because like anything worth working for, it is an important part in a relationship. Being romantic, is what separates your relationship from a friendship, or a casual one-night stand. If you're in a relationship, there's only one person, in your life, at that very moment, that you kiss on the lips, whose hand you hold, whose shoulder you rest and cry upon. And when you're married, there will only be one person in your life, for the rest of your life, who will walk beside you every step of the way. And isn't that worth something? Isn't that worth celebrating with a little romance every once in awhile?
So many couples, whether they're still dating, or have been married for five months, or ten years, forget that. We let life, work, problems, chores, children, pets, house-work, and everything else that can get in the way, get in the way, and we start to take each other for granted. We forget to simply stop, and take five minutes to tell the person we share our life with, how much we appreciate them. How beautiful we think they are. How lucky we know we are.
We can learn a lot from these couples; the ones who never forget the importance of a little act, the ones who still hold hands, and touch each other's backs when they walk into a room, or dance by the window on a snowy night. They remind me of what's important. I don't need a man who surprises me with expensive trips overseas, or luxurious spa treatments, or outings to a fine-dining restaurant each week (although that would all be lovely).
What I need, and want, is a man who tells me he loves me everyday. Who knows my favourite type of wine, and points it out to me when we're doing our grocery shopping together. Who I can share a bowl of ice-cream with after dinner, because it's fun, and because he knows I can never finish an ice-cream on my own. Who wakes me up with a kiss every morning, and sends me off to sleep with a kiss each night, because there's simply no better way to begin and end a day.
What I need, and want, is a man who tells me he loves me everyday. Who knows my favourite type of wine, and points it out to me when we're doing our grocery shopping together. Who I can share a bowl of ice-cream with after dinner, because it's fun, and because he knows I can never finish an ice-cream on my own. Who wakes me up with a kiss every morning, and sends me off to sleep with a kiss each night, because there's simply no better way to begin and end a day.
When all is said and done, there's simply nothing more important, than remembering to walk hand in hand, no matter how old you are, or how long you've been married, through summer and winter, stormy and calm, good days and bad, because otherwise......otherwise, you're just walking alone.
